Environmentalist in the checkout lane

By Jim Thompson
HCP columnist

We were on our way home from Laura’s knee replacement surgery on Friday when she asked me to stop at the supermarket to get a bag of frozen peas, recommended as a renewable ice pack to place on her new knee. (Should I get the organic or the regular ones? I am so confused).  

Having left Laura in the car, I was in a bit of a hurry, so I strode over to the express checkout (10 items or fewer, please), only to find a lady in front of me with at least 12 items strung down the belt. Some of them seemed to have fussy labeling, for the checkout person was having some difficulty and going slow.

Having time, I noticed that as she checked out, she had brought her own cloth bags. Nothing wrong with that, but I immediately perceive the cloth bag people as highly tuned and motivated environmentalists. I do wonder how often they launder these bags, and the environmental impact of said laundering, but since it is not my groceries going in them, it is of little concern, and I usually quickly dismiss this thought.

Yet, this experience left me doubting the mathematical acuity of this newly discovered environmentally sensitive person. If they don’t know the difference between 10 and 12, is there any way they can grasp a rise of 1.5 degrees Celsius by the end of this century?  

Perhaps they just accept this from the media. 

And since we here in the unenlightened world (read: not Europe), measure temperature in Fahrenheit, not Celsius, 1.5 degrees Celsius equals 2.7 degrees Fahrenheit or, shortened, 2.7 F. You are welcome.  

At the claims made by the authorities, this works out to 0.035526 degrees F per year for the next 76 years left in this century. My question: Is 0.035526 per year over the next 76 years easier to grasp than the difference between 10 and 12 in the moment? Obviously, the checkout environmentalist has no concern between 10 and 12 but are you telling me they have the perspicacity to be alarmed by a cumulative 0.035526 over 76 years? 

Additionally, I hate to say it, and you may consider me judgmental, but with the current rate of progress in medicine, I don’t think this person will make it another 76 years.  

However, just perhaps, despite Greta Thunberg’s accusations about the older generations, this person is the shining example of one who does care what we leave the next generation.

Granted, there has been much progress in the general field of science since I was a fourth-grader in Miss Miller’s class, Kyle Elementary, Troy, Ohio in 1959. You see, Miss Miller taught me the scientific method. Yet, despite all the many years since then, I don’t think instrumentation development has progressed to the point where we can now measure an average 0.0355526 F annual increase in the temperature of the Earth.

My environmental friends, the ones who are still talking to me after similar discussions to this above, ask me what it will take for me to believe in global warming (now called climate change, since the rise seems to be in doubt among even the staunches acolytes).  

My answer?

When the full third week in February in Cleveland averages a daytime temperature of 85 F, I am fully on board. I know we can measure this.

Jim Thompson, formerly of Marshall, is a graduate of Hillsboro High School and the University of Cincinnati. He resides in Duluth, Ga. and is a columnist for The Highland County Press. He may be reached at jthompson@taii.com.