Wrasslin' with Washington
By
Stephen Forsha-sforsha@gmail.com
Outbursts, promos, groups of people cheering and booing, not to mention a few verbal chair shots.
No, I wasn't watching World Wrestling Entertainment last Sunday night, but politicians duking it out over a health care bill.
This ain't Mr. Smith's Washington.
Where is TV dad Danny Tanner of "Full House" when we need him?
That guy could get any two groups to compromise to one idea, while cutting the budget of the White House by cleaning it himself, all in 30 minutes.
Now, you may be asking, "What do pro wrestling and politics have in common?"
Mixing wrasslin' and Washington is like trying to compare apples and oranges.
Or is it?
Politicians and pro wrestlers have a lot in common.
Since pro wrestling involves athletes, this will go perfect in my realm of thinking.
What? You don't believe me?
Fine, I will prove it!
First and foremost, the big health care event (yes, it will now be known as the "event") last Sunday was probably the Super Bowl of politics this year, and this coming Sunday is the Super Bowl of the WWE in an event called WRESTLEMANIA. (Souvenir T-shirts and programs were probably being sold in the lobby of the House.)
I have been known to watch more than enough pro wrestling in my day (that explains a lot), but it seems like every time the news is on (Fox or MSNBC), the people in Washington resemble a tale of good guy vs. bad guy.
I'm right, you're wrong. You're wrong and I'm right.
The problem is, I don't know which one is which.
Wrestling is a form of entertainment; the news isn¹t, but you could never tell the difference.
My buddy Tom calls wrestling a male soap opera. Washington is starting to resemble a real-life soap opera.
I know, you don't have to explain to me how pro wrestling is sports entertainment, being the finishes of matches are pre-determined, but in all honestly, I think the wrestlers have more character than anyone in Washington.
How?, you ask.
Can anyone tell me who is telling the truth or who is the person ready to turn on their tag team partner for their best interest?
Yep, that is what I thought.
The "event" had a long drawn-out speech by one representative, and he had his "fans" cheering him on. The more he said, the more they answered with the proper response he wanted.
It kind of resembled a trumpeting noise. (That is the sound an elephant makes, right?)
He even used the old "Hell no we can't" rant to get the blood pumping for all involved, even if they weren't on his side. (What is it with cursing being acceptable by public officials in public settings nowadays?)
Now turn on the TV when pro wrestling is on, and you tell me if they, too, don't have long, drawn-out speeches about things that get under their skin, getting the crowd all in a frenzy or getting them cheering because they want to take down the bad guy.
It was like former wrestler and now movie actor "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was at the podium last Sunday, since both he and the representative use H-E, double hockey sticks rants to get the crowd on their feet cheering and chanting.
Just like in wrasslin', Washington has their own little factions. You know, the elephants and donkeys.
Wrestling is famous for having tag teams or trying to outnumber their opponents to get the upper hand.
Didn't that just happen in D.C.?
219-212?
Wrestling will have contract signing to promote their big main event...wait a minute... didn't the donkeys have a big celebration with a signing of a bill for all to see?
Wrestling pays people to write their speeches for their talent to say.
Oh wait, so does Washington.
OK, this is even getting scary for me.
Wouldn't it be crazy if a wrestler ever became a governor of a state? (That already happened.)
Now, one of the coolest things about wrestling is each wrestler has their own theme music to make an entrance with. They get announced each time they enter the squared circle.
What if the president had their own entrance...I forgot, he does. "Hail to the Chief." (See, that version of "hail" is OK to use in politics.) Hey, even the main man of the WWE, Vince McMahon, has his own theme with "hail" in it. No, not hail, but "No Chance in Hell." (Close enough.)
At least Washington doesn't have scandals or storylines. Dang, I guess they have plenty of those, too.
How much of this Royal Rumble in Washington can a person take?
Just like in wrestling, I hope someone can run down the aisle and save the day from all the problems in Washington.
"And that's the bottom line 'cause this sports editor said so!"
Stephen Forsha is the sports editor of The Highland County Press.[[In-content Ad]]
No, I wasn't watching World Wrestling Entertainment last Sunday night, but politicians duking it out over a health care bill.
This ain't Mr. Smith's Washington.
Where is TV dad Danny Tanner of "Full House" when we need him?
That guy could get any two groups to compromise to one idea, while cutting the budget of the White House by cleaning it himself, all in 30 minutes.
Now, you may be asking, "What do pro wrestling and politics have in common?"
Mixing wrasslin' and Washington is like trying to compare apples and oranges.
Or is it?
Politicians and pro wrestlers have a lot in common.
Since pro wrestling involves athletes, this will go perfect in my realm of thinking.
What? You don't believe me?
Fine, I will prove it!
First and foremost, the big health care event (yes, it will now be known as the "event") last Sunday was probably the Super Bowl of politics this year, and this coming Sunday is the Super Bowl of the WWE in an event called WRESTLEMANIA. (Souvenir T-shirts and programs were probably being sold in the lobby of the House.)
I have been known to watch more than enough pro wrestling in my day (that explains a lot), but it seems like every time the news is on (Fox or MSNBC), the people in Washington resemble a tale of good guy vs. bad guy.
I'm right, you're wrong. You're wrong and I'm right.
The problem is, I don't know which one is which.
Wrestling is a form of entertainment; the news isn¹t, but you could never tell the difference.
My buddy Tom calls wrestling a male soap opera. Washington is starting to resemble a real-life soap opera.
I know, you don't have to explain to me how pro wrestling is sports entertainment, being the finishes of matches are pre-determined, but in all honestly, I think the wrestlers have more character than anyone in Washington.
How?, you ask.
Can anyone tell me who is telling the truth or who is the person ready to turn on their tag team partner for their best interest?
Yep, that is what I thought.
The "event" had a long drawn-out speech by one representative, and he had his "fans" cheering him on. The more he said, the more they answered with the proper response he wanted.
It kind of resembled a trumpeting noise. (That is the sound an elephant makes, right?)
He even used the old "Hell no we can't" rant to get the blood pumping for all involved, even if they weren't on his side. (What is it with cursing being acceptable by public officials in public settings nowadays?)
Now turn on the TV when pro wrestling is on, and you tell me if they, too, don't have long, drawn-out speeches about things that get under their skin, getting the crowd all in a frenzy or getting them cheering because they want to take down the bad guy.
It was like former wrestler and now movie actor "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was at the podium last Sunday, since both he and the representative use H-E, double hockey sticks rants to get the crowd on their feet cheering and chanting.
Just like in wrasslin', Washington has their own little factions. You know, the elephants and donkeys.
Wrestling is famous for having tag teams or trying to outnumber their opponents to get the upper hand.
Didn't that just happen in D.C.?
219-212?
Wrestling will have contract signing to promote their big main event...wait a minute... didn't the donkeys have a big celebration with a signing of a bill for all to see?
Wrestling pays people to write their speeches for their talent to say.
Oh wait, so does Washington.
OK, this is even getting scary for me.
Wouldn't it be crazy if a wrestler ever became a governor of a state? (That already happened.)
Now, one of the coolest things about wrestling is each wrestler has their own theme music to make an entrance with. They get announced each time they enter the squared circle.
What if the president had their own entrance...I forgot, he does. "Hail to the Chief." (See, that version of "hail" is OK to use in politics.) Hey, even the main man of the WWE, Vince McMahon, has his own theme with "hail" in it. No, not hail, but "No Chance in Hell." (Close enough.)
At least Washington doesn't have scandals or storylines. Dang, I guess they have plenty of those, too.
How much of this Royal Rumble in Washington can a person take?
Just like in wrestling, I hope someone can run down the aisle and save the day from all the problems in Washington.
"And that's the bottom line 'cause this sports editor said so!"
Stephen Forsha is the sports editor of The Highland County Press.[[In-content Ad]]