How do the holidays make you feel?
By Dr. Andy and Renie Bowman
Coffeetimecolumn.com
andybowman839@gmail.com
Holidays. You can ask a dozen people for their reactions to that question, and get a dozen different reactions.
All of us have different pasts and histories that 100-percent influence how we feel about the upcoming holidays.
Ask a lonely widow how she is feeling about Christmas this year. Depending upon the lady, you may hear her talk about emotions like, sad, hopeless, emotionless or fragile. Ask a small child the same question and depending on their short life history, you will see their true memories and emotions reflecting clearly on their face. Some will dance and glow, some will droop, some will stare blankly at you, some will reflect the envy and depression within.
Or it could be you are talking to a man whose military-employed wife can’t be home for the holidays…again.
Young expectant couples, with the obviously very pregnant mother being held closely to his side by the father, will also give you a reply to your question. Just don’t expect a happy joyous response from all of them. The couple standing in front of you may have lost their baby the last three pregnancies, and they fear. Or you may have asked your question of a lady who already has five young ones following her around, and is dreading the added responsibility and work of a sixth.
So many other different situations out there, so trust me, every answer will be different.
My point is this. We all have histories. And memories. Memories that color our emotions surrounding the holidays. Don’t expect everyone to react just like you to sparkling colored lights on homes, Christmas trees in every living room, and Christmas tunes pouring out over the airwaves.
Be aware of those around you. Realize that your holiday experiences will never be perfectly mirrored in the person standing next to you. Holidays can be so difficult and lonely for some. Holidays can be joyous and raucous for others.
But if you are one of those who are hurting, please know this. As the years go by, holidays and their accompanying emotions can and do change for people, because life goes on and brings new memories.
Give the gift of love to those who have less-than-joyful holiday experiences coloring their outlook on the holidays. Love them in the form of being understanding, patient and caring. And one of the greatest gifts you can give is to Just. Be. Present.
Be sensitive and aware. Have a wonderful and joyous Christmas, caring about those around you.