Chocolate bars are great
By Dr. Andy and Renie Bowman
Coffeetimecolumn.com
andybowman839@gmail.com
Alex suddenly realized he was starving – according to his standards. Of course, that standard set low, as his stomach pretty much governed his life. Forty-five minutes without something going into his mouth seemed like forever to that growing teenager.
Flinging aside his American history homework, he leaped off his bed and made a beeline for the kitchen. Mom was working a double shift tonight as a nurse at the hospital so he was on his own, but there had to be something in the fridge that he could microwave.
A deep dive into the depths of his mom’s refrigerator yielded…not much. Some fruit, ugh, definitely not his favorite. A forgotten small container of leftover tuna casserole from a few nights ago….nope, ain’t happening! Hmmmm, lettuce, cornmeal, peanut butter, oh yeah, that’s it! All he had to do now was toast about eight slices of bread and smear them with peanut butter and jelly.
Then began the search for the jelly. But that was diverted when his eye hit upon something tucked up high on one of the refrigerator door shelves. Something oblong and enclosed in a Hershey chocolate bar wrapper.
His love of anything chocolate, combined with his elephant-sized appetite made this decision a complete no-brainer. Abandoning the peanut butter jar and opened bread loaf on the counter, without a second glance he ripped off the wrapper and began scarfing down the candy bar while reluctantly returning to his bedroom to study.
Quickly giving up, he spent the rest of the evening on his laptop, reasoning that reading three pages was enough to be able to honestly tell his teacher that he had tried to prepare. It really wasn’t his fault that history had to be the dumbest, most mind-numbing class in the whole school.
About 8:30, he looked up and remembered that with Mom gone, it was up to him to make sure that Adrian got in bed. School mornings came bright and early, and 10-year-old Adrian was no natural-born early bird. And if that kid was late getting out the door tomorrow, Alex knew who would automatically get blamed.
Adrian wasn’t really much trouble to kid sit. After supper, he usually just sat in front of the boring TV kid shows until bedtime. He was easy to ignore, and Alex was an expert at it. Even when his little brother picked at him to get his attention. Which did happen a lot.
After a short argument with plenty of sharply worded insults exchanged, he finally got the kid in his room, lights out. Alex went back to the kitchen, fixed the abandoned sandwiches and returned to his own bedroom with his hands full.
About midnight, it began. An uncomfortable gurgling in the region of his normally bottomless pit. Then the cramping began. Followed by an uncontrollable urge to find the closest bathroom. The next few hours involved clutching his stomach and running urgently.
The next morning after complaining shakily to his mom, the truth came out. That suspicious lady looked at the now suspect wrapper in the trash, and immediately shouted for her youngest. A giggling Adrian appeared in the doorway and yelled “Gotcha!” at his brother.
The subsequent punishment for substituting chocolate-flavored Ex Lax in a candy bar wrapper was swift. But in Adrian’s eyes…totally worth it.
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