How to plant a garden with a puppy dog

By Christine Tailer
HCP columnist

I have just learned these 13 easy steps to successfully plant a vegetable garden with a puppy dog. I am glad to share them with you on the chance that you might someday find yourself in such a predicament.

1) Retrieve float trays from the greenhouse float bed and watch in utter amazement as puppy dog leaps into the water-filled bed and proceeds to jump from one styrofoam tray to the next, bobbing with delight as water splashes all around her. Call her off the float bed, and instruct her to sit. Reach into your pocket for a treat and duly reward her for such a perfect sit.

2) Load several trays of vegetable starts onto the garden wagon and then pull the wagon from the greenhouse out to the first of two freshly tilled long garden rows. Smile as the puppy dog races along beside you. At the first row, instruct the puppy to sit, and then, once again, reach into your pocket to reward her for a perfectly executed sit.

3) While the puppy eats her treat, pull 10 vegetable starts from one of the trays and place them with perfect spacing along one side of the first garden row. Watch in amazement as puppy dog bounds across the tilled ground and proceeds to rearrange the perfectly spaced starts so that they lie in more random order. With a wry grin, watch as puppy dashes off into the grass, a start dangling from her precious little mouth. Call puppy to your side and instruct her to sit, and yes, reach into your pocket for a treat to reward her for such a perfect sit as she looks up at you. Smile down at her. She is so adorable.

4) Instruct puppy to lie down with the "down" command. Reach into your pocket for another treat to reward her for such a perfect down. Only then, turn and kneel, trowel in hand, to dig a hole in which to set the first start. That first start successfully planted, dig a second hole in which to plant the second start. Watch in amazement as puppy gleefully digs up the first start. Sigh.

5) Repeat Step #4.

6) Repeat Step #4, again.

7) Stand up and walk some distance away from the garden row and call puppy dog over to your side. When she arrives, reach into your pocket for a treat to reward her for such a perfect "come" followed by a perfect sit. Hurry back over to the garden row to plant, or replant, the first six starts.

8) Shake your head in amazement, yet again, as puppy dog follows along right at your heels, and then races ahead of you and grabs a start and runs off with it. While she is so occupied, hastily plant several starts.

9) When puppy returns, quickly stand and instruct her to sit. Reach into your pocket and give her a treat to reward her for yet another perfect sit. It occurs to you that that at this rate, you might end up with a very fat puppy.

10) Watch in perplexed and bewildered wonder as puppy dog lies down at your feet, all of her own accord. Bend down and tussle her head. She lies still, her eyes slowly closing. Kneel down beside her. Her eyes close completely. She is soon fast asleep. Hastily, though gently, rise and successfully plant the long double row of 160 starts, every now and then glancing over your shoulder at the still sleeping puppy.

11) Stand up, place your hands on your hips, and watch in thankful wonder as puppy dog stretches, gets to her feet, and comes over to you. She sits before you and adoringly looks into your eyes. Yes, reach into your pocket and give her a treat to reward her for such a perfect, unsolicited come and sit, and also for being such a good gardening companion.

12) Place trowel and styrofoam trays back on the gardening wagon and head back over to the greenhouse, puppy dog running by your side.

13) Enter the greenhouse and watch, once again in wonder, as puppy dog sits beside the float bed and looks at you expectantly, waiting for a treat because she knows that she is such a good dog. Of course, you offer the treat and give her ever so much praise for being the best gardening companion ever, though it definitely occurs to you that it would be a wise idea to plant the rest of the garden when puppy dog is ever so tired and is inclined to immediately settle down and take a nap.

Christine Tailer is an attorney and former city dweller who moved several years ago, with her husband, Greg, to an off-grid farm in Ohio south-central Ohio. Visit them on the web at straightcreekvalleyfarm.com. 

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