Waiting can be disastrous

By Dr. Andy and Renie Bowman
Coffeetimecolumn.com
andybowman839@gmail.com

Would you knowingly hesitate to find shelter until you saw a huge tornado was only 30 feet from you? Would you wait until your 3-year-old was bitten in the face by a rattlesnake to finally take it away from him? How about your house mortgage? Would you carelessly refuse to make a payment for 12 solid months, even though you certainly had the funds?

I seriously doubt if most people reading this column would answer, “Why, absolutely! Why get in a hurry? I just deal with the consequences when stuff like that happens in my life. No big deal, really.”

Silly and stupid, right? Right.

But that is the principle behind how many people live, when it comes to dealing with the hard things in life…relationships. Let me cite some examples.

An elderly, bitter mother is getting very close to leaving this earth; but yet, the painful angry words that were screamed years ago between her and her son are left hanging between them…until it’s too late. And the consequences will be very real and devastating. 

Unresolved anger and bitterness won’t do a thing to Mom after her death, but Junior will have to live with anger eating at his gut for the rest of his life.

A woman has always been envious of her older sister’s ability to accomplish everything she attempted. So younger sister decides in their teen years to deal with her feelings by making fun of Sis. 

Nothing sacred, everything open for ridicule. The results in their relationship? Predictable. 

Years pass, and any conversation between the two ladies consist of hurt feelings, anger, and bitter arguments. And even 20 years later, their husbands and children struggle to acknowledge each other. Both sisters’ kids believe their cousins are self-centered idiots, and wouldn’t pour a cup of water on them if they were on fire. 

Unfortunately, both grown women consistently refuse to discuss their problem. Still holding onto their grudge, and probably will even when one of them is long dead and cold in the grave. 
And the cousins will probably never be given the chance to realize why they despise each other.

I’ll be blunt. Don’t be stubborn and stupid. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Do your best to understand why you feel the way you do. And then do something about it. Go talk to that relative, or that used-to-be-friend, or that enemy. 

Go ask them to sit down with you and finally figure out what happened. Acknowledge your own hurt at their words back when it all happened. Apologize for your part in it.  And fix it. 

Because I promise you, one of these days, it’s going to be too late. 

Too late to say I’m sorry for it all. Too late to send flowers or a loving note that can mend your broken relationship. And you will be left holding the proverbial bag. A bag full of anger and regret and confusion.