It's really hard to like you
By Dr. Andy and Renie Bowman
Coffeetimecolumn.com
andybowman839@gmail.com
Ever been looked squarely in the eyes and bluntly told you are a bitter, angry person? Probably not.
After all, who in their right mind wants to be within 12 feet of a bear and throw heavy stones at that huge, furious mass of muscle and bone? Nobody wants to face that.
Facing that bear would be the equivalent of standing in the same room with you while telling you this truth, “You are hard to be around. You always find a way to be angry…always. It never seems to matter what the subject happens to be when we are talking, you are always upset. Another thing. When anyone does something for you, it’s never quite enough. You are never satisfied. You are a bitter, resentful person, and everyone knows they take their emotional life in their own hands when they choose to be around you for very long at all. I love you, but I am so tired of your constant attitude that this world owes you something. In your painful and twisted thinking, you somehow hold every one of us accountable for your loss. And you will continue doing it until you get what you want, or until the day you die.”
Of course you probably have never been told that. For two reasons. You are still loved by family and friends, in spite of your difficult personality. And no one who loves you wants to hurt you with such cruel, blatant words. And secondly, humans are basically a chicken-hearted race when it comes to poking an angry bear.
But, Bitter Person, you need to hear some loving truths. And that truth is this, you do have to live this life. Unless you get so fed up and bitter that you decide to end it all. And because you have to live this life, you deserve to live it in peace. To have joy and forgiveness that will make all the difference in the years you have left. For your own sake, you need to face your loss, forgive God and anyone involved, and decide to embrace what you have left and enjoy it.
Yes, you will probably always mourn what you don’t have anymore. That is understandable. But here’s the problem. Each and every day while you are walking forward, you have your head turned around backward as you gaze longingly at the past. Blind to your future. And that is causing you to stumble over every crevice and rock in your way, bringing even more pain.
And the curves on that road you are on? There’s no way you can see ahead and prepare for maneuvering them successfully. Plus, you never get to see the beauty that is still ahead on your path. All of this is causing you to be bitter and angry. Hurting. Unlikeable. And lonely.
Like the title of a song that was recorded years ago by a friend of mine, "It's Time To Learn To Love Again." Please.
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