Side effects, courts and Orlando Justice
By
Rory Ryan-hcpress@cinci.rr.com
It’s probably a good thing we don’t turn 50 every day.
After I reported on that recent bend of my own life last week, many of you have overwhelmed – or, in some cases, underwhelmed – me with your various greetings and condolences.
I’ve heard from old friends, new friends, former classmates and current relatives. And I’ve learned that there’s somewhat of a fraternity of understanding upon reaching that half-century milestone.
While I thank you all (that’s “all y’all” in the plural sense), I’d really rather not belong in that age group that’s the focus of three out of every four television commercials*.
Apparently, once a man’s reached 50 (perhaps it’s a few years younger for women, but I can’t say), the pharmaceutical manufacturers have arbitrarily determined that we can no longer maintain certain bodily functions without their highly touted and highly expensive products. By their own estimations, we simply cannot go on without these drugs.
My teenage son and I often laugh at the products and the sales pitch. We especially like the commercial with the four guys who can’t seem to stay out of the men’s room. Hold on! It’s not what you think. These guys aren’t former Idaho congressmen.
They just have to pee. A lot. Well, not a lot in terms of volume, but often, according to the commercial for a popular prescription or over-the-counter drug. However, once they take the drug, they can continue to canoe down the Olentangy River with no worries whatsoever.
When I think back to the first canoe trip and the first canoe flip I ever made, I recall that the cold water on a cool, spring morning, having reached a certain part of my anatomy, made me have to pee. Conveniently for me, I was already under the waters of Rocky Fork Creek. With no drugstores in sight, I just let nature take her course. I was 19.
So maybe the four old guys who can’t seem to get their oars in the water don’t really need an expensive drug. Maybe they just need to realize that being surrounded by water even makes fish have to pee.
And then there’s the TV commercials for “those romantic moments.” I swear I’m not making this up, but one of the commercials shows a man and a woman sitting in separate bathtubs in the middle of the woods. Why? Because you never know when the time is right.
Men buy this product, of course. Why? Because they are scared to death that one day they’ll come home and see two bathtubs sitting in the woods or the backyard under two tiki torches and a plastic palm tree. Hey, you never know when the time is right. You must be prepared.
And then there are the side effects to these miracle drugs. The muscle-building drugs might cause temporary impotence, so you have to take the romantic-time drugs (because you never know when the time is right). The romantic-time drugs might cause temporary insanity; but that’s OK, they have other drugs for that malady.
The ones that really fry the bacon are the drugs that cause every imaginable side effect. Read the fine print and you’ll learn that your Latest Wonder Drug will cause constipation and diarrhea (both?), dry mouth, occasional drooling, cold sweats, hot flashes, the shakes, and lethargy.
And, of course, blindness.
As it turns out, the not-so-popular 1975 film of an earlier generation, “If You Don’t Stop it, You’ll go Blind,” was a scientific work of art. Who knew?
* OK, you ask: What’s the fourth TV commercial that’s NOT geared toward the golden anniversary male? That’s easy. Cold beer. And that’s the only product among the four most advertised on network television that I’m likely to buy. The drug companies can keep their blue pills, purple pills, white pills, brown pills, and horse pills.
I’m sticking with my One a Day vitamins and a daily glass of orange juice. And I’m not taking a bath in the woods.
• • •
Speaking of OJ, did you see where Cincinnati restaurateur Jeff Ruby placed an ad in the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel about the Casey Anthony trial? The ad was headlined “Orlando Justice,” with a not-so-subtle reference to O.J. (as in Simpson).
I liked Jeff Ruby before he placed this ad, but the admiration hasn’t diminished because of it. In fact, if he requested, I’d publish the ad for free in The Highland County Press. (And I don’t make a habit of that!)
If for no other reason, I like Mr. Ruby because he does not like O.J. Simpson. Neither do I. (Ruby once booted Simpson from one of his restaurants.)
Simpson’s ridiculous slow-speed chase in California 17 years ago – after he may or may not have committed murder – was a royal pain in the backside
to many newspaper editors who were on deadline in the Eastern Time Zone. I happened to be one of them.
After working for 12 or 14 hours that day, the last thing many of us wanted was a major news story on an otherwise slow weekend. And then OJ crawls up the road in a white Ford Bronco driven by A.C. Cowlings, of the infamous line: “YOU KNOW WHO I AM.”
I didn’t like Simpson when he was at the University of Spoiled Children. I didn’t like him when he was a Buffalo Bill. And I didn’t like him on that June 17 night in 1994 when Chris Buckle had to resend my front page of The Portsmouth Daily Times to the pressroom.
Good for you, Mr. Ruby, for pointing out the obvious miscarriage of justice in the great Sunshine State. But, seriously, what would you expect from a state that can’t count its own votes in a presidential election?
On a side note, I also admire Jeff Ruby for advising NFL Hall of Famer and former Cincinnati Bengals offensive lineman Anthony Munoz to “tone it down” during a celebrity roast many years ago for Jerry Springer.
Munoz, who has long had a clean, conservative image in Cincinnati and southern Ohio, was about to make a joke of questionable content when Mr. Ruby reined him in a bit. It was a class act by a man of class and integrity. We need more Jeff Rubys in the world.
• • •
No one likes it when someone says “I told you so,” but once again, I did.
This week’s ruling by the Ohio Supreme Court regarding a local criminal case and the question of a potential conflict of interest for Judge Rocky Coss was as I predicted online late last week. And the High Court made the proper decision.
If you missed it, a defense attorney raised the question of a possible conflict for Highland County Common Pleas Court Judge Rocky Coss to preside over a local criminal case in which Highland County Commissioner Shane Wilkin was one of the victims.
On July 18, the Ohio Supreme Court said: “A judge is presumed to follow the law and not to be biased, and the appearance of bias or prejudice must be compelling to overcome these presumptions. Those presumptions have not been overcome in this case.”
At least two points are worth noting here. 1.) Defense attorney Susan Zurface Daniels did the proper thing for her client by raising the question. Had she not pursued this avenue of defense, the second-guessers among us would surely be critical. To her credit, she did. 2.) The Supreme Court realized that its ruling would set a binding precedent for subsequent cases.
In other words, let’s consider all 88 Ohio counties and all possibilities for a potential conflict of interest in cases involving public officials whose actions are in some way related to the operations of the local courts.
The defense counsel said, perhaps accurately: “Due to the size of the community and the normal and required interactions of the court with the commissioners’ office, as well as the professional relationship with the owners of the establishment in question, Judge Coss’ involvement in this
case could create an appearance or perception of bias in the administration of justice.”
However, the “appearance” of a conflict of interest is not the same as an undeniable conflict of interest. For the Supreme Court to rule otherwise in this matter, would have the unintended effect of causing judges across the state to recuse themselves from numerous cases, thus adding significant costs to taxpayers in every county.
To be sure, it is good government to bring these issues to the light of day (let the sun shine in). And as we get closer to a few of the 2012 political campaigns, and other “appearances” of conflicts of interest that may arise, let’s trust those candidates for office will follow the High Court’s lead.
After all, if you cannot explain to the voting public the difference between the appearance of a conflict of interest and a genuine conflict, maybe we’ll have to seek another opinion from Columbus.
Rory Ryan is publisher and editor of The Highland County Press.[[In-content Ad]]
After I reported on that recent bend of my own life last week, many of you have overwhelmed – or, in some cases, underwhelmed – me with your various greetings and condolences.
I’ve heard from old friends, new friends, former classmates and current relatives. And I’ve learned that there’s somewhat of a fraternity of understanding upon reaching that half-century milestone.
While I thank you all (that’s “all y’all” in the plural sense), I’d really rather not belong in that age group that’s the focus of three out of every four television commercials*.
Apparently, once a man’s reached 50 (perhaps it’s a few years younger for women, but I can’t say), the pharmaceutical manufacturers have arbitrarily determined that we can no longer maintain certain bodily functions without their highly touted and highly expensive products. By their own estimations, we simply cannot go on without these drugs.
My teenage son and I often laugh at the products and the sales pitch. We especially like the commercial with the four guys who can’t seem to stay out of the men’s room. Hold on! It’s not what you think. These guys aren’t former Idaho congressmen.
They just have to pee. A lot. Well, not a lot in terms of volume, but often, according to the commercial for a popular prescription or over-the-counter drug. However, once they take the drug, they can continue to canoe down the Olentangy River with no worries whatsoever.
When I think back to the first canoe trip and the first canoe flip I ever made, I recall that the cold water on a cool, spring morning, having reached a certain part of my anatomy, made me have to pee. Conveniently for me, I was already under the waters of Rocky Fork Creek. With no drugstores in sight, I just let nature take her course. I was 19.
So maybe the four old guys who can’t seem to get their oars in the water don’t really need an expensive drug. Maybe they just need to realize that being surrounded by water even makes fish have to pee.
And then there’s the TV commercials for “those romantic moments.” I swear I’m not making this up, but one of the commercials shows a man and a woman sitting in separate bathtubs in the middle of the woods. Why? Because you never know when the time is right.
Men buy this product, of course. Why? Because they are scared to death that one day they’ll come home and see two bathtubs sitting in the woods or the backyard under two tiki torches and a plastic palm tree. Hey, you never know when the time is right. You must be prepared.
And then there are the side effects to these miracle drugs. The muscle-building drugs might cause temporary impotence, so you have to take the romantic-time drugs (because you never know when the time is right). The romantic-time drugs might cause temporary insanity; but that’s OK, they have other drugs for that malady.
The ones that really fry the bacon are the drugs that cause every imaginable side effect. Read the fine print and you’ll learn that your Latest Wonder Drug will cause constipation and diarrhea (both?), dry mouth, occasional drooling, cold sweats, hot flashes, the shakes, and lethargy.
And, of course, blindness.
As it turns out, the not-so-popular 1975 film of an earlier generation, “If You Don’t Stop it, You’ll go Blind,” was a scientific work of art. Who knew?
* OK, you ask: What’s the fourth TV commercial that’s NOT geared toward the golden anniversary male? That’s easy. Cold beer. And that’s the only product among the four most advertised on network television that I’m likely to buy. The drug companies can keep their blue pills, purple pills, white pills, brown pills, and horse pills.
I’m sticking with my One a Day vitamins and a daily glass of orange juice. And I’m not taking a bath in the woods.
• • •
Speaking of OJ, did you see where Cincinnati restaurateur Jeff Ruby placed an ad in the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel about the Casey Anthony trial? The ad was headlined “Orlando Justice,” with a not-so-subtle reference to O.J. (as in Simpson).
I liked Jeff Ruby before he placed this ad, but the admiration hasn’t diminished because of it. In fact, if he requested, I’d publish the ad for free in The Highland County Press. (And I don’t make a habit of that!)
If for no other reason, I like Mr. Ruby because he does not like O.J. Simpson. Neither do I. (Ruby once booted Simpson from one of his restaurants.)
Simpson’s ridiculous slow-speed chase in California 17 years ago – after he may or may not have committed murder – was a royal pain in the backside
to many newspaper editors who were on deadline in the Eastern Time Zone. I happened to be one of them.
After working for 12 or 14 hours that day, the last thing many of us wanted was a major news story on an otherwise slow weekend. And then OJ crawls up the road in a white Ford Bronco driven by A.C. Cowlings, of the infamous line: “YOU KNOW WHO I AM.”
I didn’t like Simpson when he was at the University of Spoiled Children. I didn’t like him when he was a Buffalo Bill. And I didn’t like him on that June 17 night in 1994 when Chris Buckle had to resend my front page of The Portsmouth Daily Times to the pressroom.
Good for you, Mr. Ruby, for pointing out the obvious miscarriage of justice in the great Sunshine State. But, seriously, what would you expect from a state that can’t count its own votes in a presidential election?
On a side note, I also admire Jeff Ruby for advising NFL Hall of Famer and former Cincinnati Bengals offensive lineman Anthony Munoz to “tone it down” during a celebrity roast many years ago for Jerry Springer.
Munoz, who has long had a clean, conservative image in Cincinnati and southern Ohio, was about to make a joke of questionable content when Mr. Ruby reined him in a bit. It was a class act by a man of class and integrity. We need more Jeff Rubys in the world.
• • •
No one likes it when someone says “I told you so,” but once again, I did.
This week’s ruling by the Ohio Supreme Court regarding a local criminal case and the question of a potential conflict of interest for Judge Rocky Coss was as I predicted online late last week. And the High Court made the proper decision.
If you missed it, a defense attorney raised the question of a possible conflict for Highland County Common Pleas Court Judge Rocky Coss to preside over a local criminal case in which Highland County Commissioner Shane Wilkin was one of the victims.
On July 18, the Ohio Supreme Court said: “A judge is presumed to follow the law and not to be biased, and the appearance of bias or prejudice must be compelling to overcome these presumptions. Those presumptions have not been overcome in this case.”
At least two points are worth noting here. 1.) Defense attorney Susan Zurface Daniels did the proper thing for her client by raising the question. Had she not pursued this avenue of defense, the second-guessers among us would surely be critical. To her credit, she did. 2.) The Supreme Court realized that its ruling would set a binding precedent for subsequent cases.
In other words, let’s consider all 88 Ohio counties and all possibilities for a potential conflict of interest in cases involving public officials whose actions are in some way related to the operations of the local courts.
The defense counsel said, perhaps accurately: “Due to the size of the community and the normal and required interactions of the court with the commissioners’ office, as well as the professional relationship with the owners of the establishment in question, Judge Coss’ involvement in this
case could create an appearance or perception of bias in the administration of justice.”
However, the “appearance” of a conflict of interest is not the same as an undeniable conflict of interest. For the Supreme Court to rule otherwise in this matter, would have the unintended effect of causing judges across the state to recuse themselves from numerous cases, thus adding significant costs to taxpayers in every county.
To be sure, it is good government to bring these issues to the light of day (let the sun shine in). And as we get closer to a few of the 2012 political campaigns, and other “appearances” of conflicts of interest that may arise, let’s trust those candidates for office will follow the High Court’s lead.
After all, if you cannot explain to the voting public the difference between the appearance of a conflict of interest and a genuine conflict, maybe we’ll have to seek another opinion from Columbus.
Rory Ryan is publisher and editor of The Highland County Press.[[In-content Ad]]