OTMs and 'stuff' my dad said
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OTMs and stuff my dad said
I went to a river and I couldn’t get across, so I paid ten dollars for an old gray hoss.
My connection to pop culture is akin to Winston Churchill’s connection to the temperance movement. In fact, my connection to pop culture is akin to
MY connection with the temperance movement.
Thus, it was no surprise that I was perhaps the Last Man on the Planet to learn there’s a new television show called “(‘Stuff’) My Dad Says.’ I
couldn’t tell you when it’s on or what channel it’s on. Nor do I care. But it’s my best guess the show’s a comedy. At least, I hope it is.
For those not in the mood to laugh, chuckle, chortle, sneer or guffaw, be forewarned: You might want to skip this poor man’s attempt at a bit of
jocularity. While the attempt at humor is sincere, it is, by no means as comical as printing $50-bill-giveaways when you’re not paying all your real
“bills.”
But I digress.
Back to the new TV show, “(‘Stuff’) My Dad Says.”
My dad doesn’t say much anymore, but he used to say a lot of “stuff.” In fact, he taught me the first two poems that I ever knew and I can recite
each with the same vigor and enthusiasm as I did when I was 6 years old.
The first one, “Gene, Gene Made a Machine,” got me in trouble in the first grade at Sugar Tree Ridge’s Concord Elementary School.
For those not familiar with the once-popular ode, it went something like this:
Gene, Gene Made a Machine;
Frank, Frank Gave it a Crank;
Joe, Joe He Made it Go;
Then Art, Art (did something) and blew it all apart.
That was some of the “stuff” my dad said.
The second little ditty he taught me went something like this:
I went to a river and I couldn’t get across,
So I paid ten dollars for an old gray hoss;
The hoss wouldn’t go,
So I traded for a hoe;
The hoe wouldn’t dig,
So I traded for a pig;
The pig would squeal,
So I traded for a wheel;
The wheel wouldn’t run,
So I traded for a gun;
The gun wouldn’t shoot,
So I traded for a boot;
The boot wouldn’t fit,
So I thought I better quit.
At least when I recited this one in Ms. Howland’s class in 1967, I didn’t get into trouble.
My dad was an ornery cuss – in a respectful 1950s sort of way. His humor wasn’t malicious; and more often than not, he made fun of himself in order
to provoke laughter from those around him. He usually succeeded, too.
I suspect, with regrets, that the stuff many dads say today is less harmless and more hurtful. Maybe I’m wrong. I hope so.
But if the producers of “(‘Stuff’) My Dad Says” are ever in need of material, I have a few more stories at the ready. We haven’t even scratched
the surface of his poetic license liberties. (Just ask me about “One Smart Fellow, He Felt Smart...”)
I double-dog dare you.
***
OTMs, anyone?
After asking a dozen or so college graduates and otherwise not unintelligent souls if they knew what OTMs were, I received an equal number
of answers in the negative.
So, I’ll ask you, Our Alert Readers. Do you know what OTMs are? No, not ATMs. OTMs.
For full disclosure, until a recent e-mail from my mother-in-law, I didn’t.
OTMs refer to an acronym used by the U.S. Border Patrol officers who work along the U.S./Mexico border. OTM is short for “Other Than Mexican,”
and its numbers include many people apprehended at our southwest border who have ties to terrorist nations.
In simple terms, OTMs can include potential terrorists who waltz into the United States for one simple reason: Because we let them.
Atlanta TV station WSBTV Channel 2 (WSBTV.com) Action News anchor Justin Farmer reported this month that Douglas, Ariz. “is the busiest spot in the
nation for border patrol. Records show last year, agents caught a quarter of a million people trying to enter the U.S. in the Tucson sector alone.
According to those documents, a lot are from Mexico or South America, but hundreds of them aren’t and are from nations like Pakistan, Afghanistan,
Iraq, and Iran. Since January, border patrol agents say they have been on the lookout for 23 Somalis with ties to al-Qaida.”
Think about that. Evidence suggests illegal aliens with possible terrorist connections are entering the United States through Arizona’s
border with Mexico. And with three or four confirmed terrorists incidents in the U.S. in the past 18 months alone, this is no time for lax enforcement.
So what do we hear from the good ol’ mainstream media? We hear that Arizona’s new law against illegal aliens is mean-spirited and racially
motivated. (It’s neither.)
We hear that a Columbus, Ohio mayor has banned city employees’ travel to Arizona (but accepts the city’s money-making arrangement on red light
cameras from a Phoenix, Ariz. company).
We hear that an Obama Cabinet member, Attorney General Eric Holder, says that he’s opposed to the Arizona law, but also admits to a Texas congressman he has not read the law. The congressman (Ted Poe) told Holder: It’s only 10 pages; it’s nothing close to the 2,000-page health care bill (that no one on the planet has read).
It seems to this Ridgerunner that all Americans who are concerned with national security owe the state of Arizona a debt of gratitude for trying to
secure its (our) border, when the federal government has continually failed to do so.
It was somewhat of a pleasant surprise that the most woefully unprepared commander in chief in my lifetime (Jimmy Carter notwithstanding) did send
some National Guard troops to the Arizona-Mexico border this week. I wonder if he let them have any bullets?
Lastly, if former Presidents Hoover, Truman and Eisenhower could deport illegal aliens, so can Obama. If there’s a will, there’s a way.
Rory Ryan is publisher and editor of The Highland County Press.
I went to a river and I couldn’t get across, so I paid ten dollars for an old gray hoss.
My connection to pop culture is akin to Winston Churchill’s connection to the temperance movement. In fact, my connection to pop culture is akin to
MY connection with the temperance movement.
Thus, it was no surprise that I was perhaps the Last Man on the Planet to learn there’s a new television show called “(‘Stuff’) My Dad Says.’ I couldn’t tell you when it’s on or what channel it’s on. Nor do I care. But it’s my best guess the show’s a comedy. At least, I hope it is.
For those not in the mood to laugh, chuckle, chortle, sneer or guffaw, be forewarned: You might want to skip this poor man’s attempt at a bit of jocularity. While the attempt at humor is sincere, it is, by no means as comical as printing $50-bill-giveaways when you’re not paying all your real “bills.”
But I digress.
Back to the new TV show, “(‘Stuff’) My Dad Says.”
My dad doesn’t say much anymore, but he used to say a lot of “stuff.” In fact, he taught me the first two poems that I ever knew and I can recite each with the same vigor and enthusiasm as I did when I was 6 years old.
The first one, “Gene, Gene Made a Machine,” got me in trouble in the first grade at Sugar Tree Ridge’s Concord Elementary School.
For those not familiar with the once-popular ode, it went something like this:
Gene, Gene Made a Machine;
Frank, Frank Gave it a Crank;
Joe, Joe He Made it Go;
Then Art, Art (did something) and blew it all apart.
That was some of the “stuff” my dad said.
The second little ditty he taught me went something like this:
I went to a river and I couldn’t get across,
So I paid ten dollars for an old gray hoss;
The hoss wouldn’t go,
So I traded for a hoe;
The hoe wouldn’t dig,
So I traded for a pig;
The pig would squeal,
So I traded for a wheel;
The wheel wouldn’t run,
So I traded for a gun;
The gun wouldn’t shoot,
So I traded for a boot;
The boot wouldn’t fit,
So I thought I better quit.
At least when I recited this one in Ms. Howland’s class in 1967, I didn’t get into trouble.
My dad was an ornery cuss – in a respectful 1950s sort of way. His humor wasn’t malicious; and more often than not, he made fun of himself in order to provoke laughter from those around him. He usually succeeded, too.
I suspect, with regrets, that the stuff many dads say today is less harmless and more hurtful. Maybe I’m wrong. I hope so.
But if the producers of “(‘Stuff’) My Dad Says” are ever in need of material, I have a few more stories at the ready. We haven’t even scratched the surface of his poetic license liberties. (Just ask me about “One Smart Fellow, He Felt Smart...”)
I double-dog dare you.
***
OTMs, anyone?
After asking a dozen or so college graduates and otherwise not unintelligent souls if they knew what OTMs were, I received an equal number of answers in the negative.
So, I’ll ask you, Our Alert Readers. Do you know what OTMs are? No, not ATMs. OTMs.
For full disclosure, until a recent e-mail from my mother-in-law, I didn’t.
OTMs refer to an acronym used by the U.S. Border Patrol officers who work along the U.S./Mexico border. OTM is short for “Other Than Mexican,”
and its numbers include many people apprehended at our southwest border who have ties to terrorist nations.
In simple terms, OTMs can include potential terrorists who waltz into the United States for one simple reason: Because we let them.
Atlanta TV station WSBTV Channel 2 (WSBTV.com) Action News anchor Justin Farmer reported this month that Douglas, Ariz. “is the busiest spot in the
nation for border patrol. Records show last year, agents caught a quarter of a million people trying to enter the U.S. in the Tucson sector alone.
According to those documents, a lot are from Mexico or South America, but hundreds of them aren’t and are from nations like Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq, and Iran. Since January, border patrol agents say they have been on the lookout for 23 Somalis with ties to al-Qaida.”
Think about that. Evidence suggests illegal aliens with possible terrorist connections are entering the United States through Arizona’s border with Mexico. And with three or four confirmed terrorists incidents in the U.S. in the past 18 months alone, this is no time for lax enforcement.
So what do we hear from the good ol’ mainstream media? We hear that Arizona’s new law against illegal aliens is mean-spirited and racially motivated. (It’s neither.)
We hear that a Columbus, Ohio mayor has banned city employees’ travel to Arizona (but accepts the city’s money-making arrangement on red light cameras from a Phoenix, Ariz. company).
We hear that an Obama Cabinet member, Attorney General Eric Holder, says that he’s opposed to the Arizona law, but also admits to a Texas congressman he has not read the law. The congressman (Ted Poe) told Holder: It’s only 10 pages; it’s nothing close to the 2,000-page health care bill (that no one on the planet has read).
It seems to this Ridgerunner that all Americans who are concerned with national security owe the state of Arizona a debt of gratitude for trying to secure its (our) border, when the federal government has continually failed to do so.
It was somewhat of a pleasant surprise that the most woefully unprepared commander in chief in my lifetime (Jimmy Carter notwithstanding) did send
some National Guard troops to the Arizona-Mexico border this week. I wonder if he let them have any bullets?
Lastly, if former Presidents Hoover, Truman and Eisenhower could deport illegal aliens, so can Obama. If there’s a will, there’s a way.
Rory Ryan is publisher and editor of The Highland County Press.
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