Life's fine line between letting go, holding on
By
Rory Ryan-hcpress@cinci.rr.com
I’m tired of funerals. I’m tired of visitations. I’m tired of losing friends.
These are a few of the hazards of growing older. You’ll find yourself attending more funerals, more visitations and losing more friends.
In my case, I’ve done my best to make it a practice to have very few friends. (Oddly enough, I’ve never been asked to explain or justify the practice.) My thinking is that at least there won’t be too many people inconvenienced upon my ultimate demise.
Twenty-one years ago, Fr. David Fay found it necessary to write four words above one of my award-winning (!) college essays: “We all must die,” the good reverend wrote.
“Thanks a lot, Padre,” I remember thinking.
Father Fay reminds me of Fr. Cavanaugh from the film “Rudy.” It was Fr. Cavanaugh, of course, who told the Notre Dame walk-on football player: “Son, in 35 years of religious study, I have only come up with two hard, incontrovertible facts: There is a God, and I’m not Him.”
While men like Frs. Fay and Cavanaugh come in quite handy at funerals, I typically do not. (Unless you count being a pallbearer on a number of occasions.)
I just don’t know what to say at a funeral. Now, my late grandmother did. She could work the funeral home visitation crowd better than Sarah Palin at an NRA convention.
Shoot, about the only thing I hate more than funerals is politics. At least funerals end, eventually. Partisan politics and the animosities associated with it can last longer than a Marathon Bar caramel on steroids.
Friends seem to die too soon, while lousy politicians seem to hang around forever. (Although I imagine Sen. Byrd did, at last, have to explain his previous Klansmanship before crossing the Pearly Gates.)
It seems that each time a friend passes away, I find myself playing that old game that my dad and his uncle Chuck used to play. They called it: Who’s next?
And these guys had very little mercy! They’d take a glance around the funeral parlor and zero in on the most logical candidate, then place their quarter bets.
Even at a young age, I was always somewhat pleased when neither of them picked me.
One year, around 1972, they each picked the other for the latest death knell in the family. Fortunately, both missed their respective life-ending predictions. (That time, anyway. Both are long since deceased.)
As many of us begin to feel our age, and our inevitable mortality, a few thoughts are worth consideration.
In 1997, author and newspaperman Bob Greene wrote the following in his book, “50-Year Dash,” “You think you feel old? Consider this: Your parents have a 50-year-old child. Think how that makes them feel.”
What if they have a 40-year-old child? Or a 30-year-old child?
Damn. That cuts right to the quick, doesn’t it?
British author Henry Ellis is quoted as saying “All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”
That seems about right.
* * *
• The Highland County Press enjoyed a visit this week from Third District Rep. Mike Turner and a few of his staff, Marty Heide, Tom Crosson and Margaret Horst.
The congressman touched on a few topics, ranging from the U.S. presence in Libya – which he opposes, to the economy, to the 2012 presidential election.
As reported on our website, highlandcountypress.com, Rep. Turner recently introduced a House resolution disapproving of military action in Libya.
The bipartisan legislation states “Congress does not approve of United States intervention in Libya.”
One of those in favor of the resolution is Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinich, which prompted an obvious question for the local representative: “When was the last time you and Congressman Kucinich agreed on anything?”
“I don’t remember,” Rep. Turner responded with a bit of humor. (For those who choose not to follow congressional politics, Mr. Kucinich is typically to the left of Mr. Turner. Way to the left. In fact, to borrow a phrase from the late Ed Daniels, the only thing to the left of Dennis Kucinich is a deep crevasse.)
“Since the president engaged the United States in military action in Libya, he has not explained to Congress what the U.S. role is, nor has he clearly outlined how that role will be carried out,” Turner said.
“The mission is unclear. The goals are unclear. We don’t know who (the rebels) are. We don’t know what form of government they would pursue.”
Turner noted that U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates came before Congress and was unable to answer basic questions such as who the rebel forces are.
“This action thus far has placed us in a dangerous position and this resolution sends a clear message to the president that Congress disapproves of our role in Libya,” Turner said.
The congressman, who is a member of the House Armed Services Committee and the ranking member on the Strategic Forces Subcommittee, also said the U.S. should not be expanding its roles in either Iraq or Afghanistan.
On the ongoing congressional budget debate, Turner said, “Last year, America set a clear message: Stop spending. The president is saying ‘zero cuts’ in spending. He’s going to have to act.”
Even some Democrats have broken ranks with the president on spending, especially after he announced a few months ago that the nation’s debt would top $15 trillion this year. (For perspective, that’s more than $48,000 for every man, woman and child in America.)
Senate Budget Committee Chairman Kent Conrad, D-N.D., has criticized Obama for not taking on entitlement reform. And Sen. Chris Coons, D-Del., said the president should have followed through on the recommendations of his own debt commission, which last December proposed nearly $4 trillion in cuts.
Turner said a lot of business expansion and job creation could be in jeopardy if the national debt and runaway spending are not checked.
“I think we’re at a turning point (on the economy),” Turner said. “Here in Ohio, we have a great workforce and dedicated leadership.”
But, the congressman added, a lot of businesses continue to take a wait-and-see approach, pending the federal budget outcome and spending concerns.
On one relatively small, minor and inconsequential issue, the congressman was asked what he thought of New York Democratic Rep. Anthony Weiner.
“Not much,” was the reply.
We’ll just let it go at that.
Rory Ryan is publisher and editor of The Highland County Press.[[In-content Ad]]
These are a few of the hazards of growing older. You’ll find yourself attending more funerals, more visitations and losing more friends.
In my case, I’ve done my best to make it a practice to have very few friends. (Oddly enough, I’ve never been asked to explain or justify the practice.) My thinking is that at least there won’t be too many people inconvenienced upon my ultimate demise.
Twenty-one years ago, Fr. David Fay found it necessary to write four words above one of my award-winning (!) college essays: “We all must die,” the good reverend wrote.
“Thanks a lot, Padre,” I remember thinking.
Father Fay reminds me of Fr. Cavanaugh from the film “Rudy.” It was Fr. Cavanaugh, of course, who told the Notre Dame walk-on football player: “Son, in 35 years of religious study, I have only come up with two hard, incontrovertible facts: There is a God, and I’m not Him.”
While men like Frs. Fay and Cavanaugh come in quite handy at funerals, I typically do not. (Unless you count being a pallbearer on a number of occasions.)
I just don’t know what to say at a funeral. Now, my late grandmother did. She could work the funeral home visitation crowd better than Sarah Palin at an NRA convention.
Shoot, about the only thing I hate more than funerals is politics. At least funerals end, eventually. Partisan politics and the animosities associated with it can last longer than a Marathon Bar caramel on steroids.
Friends seem to die too soon, while lousy politicians seem to hang around forever. (Although I imagine Sen. Byrd did, at last, have to explain his previous Klansmanship before crossing the Pearly Gates.)
It seems that each time a friend passes away, I find myself playing that old game that my dad and his uncle Chuck used to play. They called it: Who’s next?
And these guys had very little mercy! They’d take a glance around the funeral parlor and zero in on the most logical candidate, then place their quarter bets.
Even at a young age, I was always somewhat pleased when neither of them picked me.
One year, around 1972, they each picked the other for the latest death knell in the family. Fortunately, both missed their respective life-ending predictions. (That time, anyway. Both are long since deceased.)
As many of us begin to feel our age, and our inevitable mortality, a few thoughts are worth consideration.
In 1997, author and newspaperman Bob Greene wrote the following in his book, “50-Year Dash,” “You think you feel old? Consider this: Your parents have a 50-year-old child. Think how that makes them feel.”
What if they have a 40-year-old child? Or a 30-year-old child?
Damn. That cuts right to the quick, doesn’t it?
British author Henry Ellis is quoted as saying “All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”
That seems about right.
* * *
• The Highland County Press enjoyed a visit this week from Third District Rep. Mike Turner and a few of his staff, Marty Heide, Tom Crosson and Margaret Horst.
The congressman touched on a few topics, ranging from the U.S. presence in Libya – which he opposes, to the economy, to the 2012 presidential election.
As reported on our website, highlandcountypress.com, Rep. Turner recently introduced a House resolution disapproving of military action in Libya.
The bipartisan legislation states “Congress does not approve of United States intervention in Libya.”
One of those in favor of the resolution is Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinich, which prompted an obvious question for the local representative: “When was the last time you and Congressman Kucinich agreed on anything?”
“I don’t remember,” Rep. Turner responded with a bit of humor. (For those who choose not to follow congressional politics, Mr. Kucinich is typically to the left of Mr. Turner. Way to the left. In fact, to borrow a phrase from the late Ed Daniels, the only thing to the left of Dennis Kucinich is a deep crevasse.)
“Since the president engaged the United States in military action in Libya, he has not explained to Congress what the U.S. role is, nor has he clearly outlined how that role will be carried out,” Turner said.
“The mission is unclear. The goals are unclear. We don’t know who (the rebels) are. We don’t know what form of government they would pursue.”
Turner noted that U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates came before Congress and was unable to answer basic questions such as who the rebel forces are.
“This action thus far has placed us in a dangerous position and this resolution sends a clear message to the president that Congress disapproves of our role in Libya,” Turner said.
The congressman, who is a member of the House Armed Services Committee and the ranking member on the Strategic Forces Subcommittee, also said the U.S. should not be expanding its roles in either Iraq or Afghanistan.
On the ongoing congressional budget debate, Turner said, “Last year, America set a clear message: Stop spending. The president is saying ‘zero cuts’ in spending. He’s going to have to act.”
Even some Democrats have broken ranks with the president on spending, especially after he announced a few months ago that the nation’s debt would top $15 trillion this year. (For perspective, that’s more than $48,000 for every man, woman and child in America.)
Senate Budget Committee Chairman Kent Conrad, D-N.D., has criticized Obama for not taking on entitlement reform. And Sen. Chris Coons, D-Del., said the president should have followed through on the recommendations of his own debt commission, which last December proposed nearly $4 trillion in cuts.
Turner said a lot of business expansion and job creation could be in jeopardy if the national debt and runaway spending are not checked.
“I think we’re at a turning point (on the economy),” Turner said. “Here in Ohio, we have a great workforce and dedicated leadership.”
But, the congressman added, a lot of businesses continue to take a wait-and-see approach, pending the federal budget outcome and spending concerns.
On one relatively small, minor and inconsequential issue, the congressman was asked what he thought of New York Democratic Rep. Anthony Weiner.
“Not much,” was the reply.
We’ll just let it go at that.
Rory Ryan is publisher and editor of The Highland County Press.[[In-content Ad]]