I heard I was in town – and retired

By Rory Ryan
The Highland County Press

Changes have come like the storms of the season
But time here still moves slow
Passed the old joints
My favorite haunts
We'd stay for twelve or ten
Ain't it quite funny word gets around
I heard I was in town.
– Jimmy Buffett and Michael Utley, 1981

The late, great Jimmy Buffett wrote those lyrics about a time in a Key West bar when another patron was entertaining the bartender about all of his exploits with Jimmy Buffett. The only problem was, Jimmy Buffett was sitting there and had no idea who the other gentleman was.

If you happen to stop by the Hillsboro Post Office between 10 a.m. and 11 a.m. on any given weekday, it is almost reminiscent of stopping by Magee's Restaurant years ago around 6 a.m. on any given weekday in Hillsboro.

I swear, the Hillsboro Post Office could sell gallons of coffee on weekday mornings if they'd put out 4 or 5 bar stools around the lobby.

The other day when I walked in, an old friend shook my hand and said, "Congratulations, Rory."

Temporarily dazed, I first thought of the Bright Local Schools Board of Education and Superintendent Jason Iles, who nominated me for the Ohio School Boards Association 2024 Media Honor Roll in December. That was nice, but no, that was not the reason for my congratulations.

Instead, I was congratulated on my "recent retirement." Only one problem: I have not retired and have no plans to do so.

But after 45 consecutive years in the print industry – and in damned near every capacity at one time or another – the thought has crossed my mind, as former West Union newspaperman Herb Lax used to say.

After that Post Office encounter, I was at one of my favorite local establishments (hint: named after a dear friend and former boss, whose telethon is next month) and overheard a conversation between two people I don't think I've met.

Once again, my association with The Highland County Press came up. One gentleman mentioned that my wife and I retired to Alabama. (Note to self: Stop writing about a certain joint in southern Alabama. It's already too crowded. No one goes there anymore. Trust me.)

Of course, all publicity is good publicity, as the old media saying goes.

OK. For full disclosure, yes, my wife, Pam, an RN at Highland District Hospital for just shy of 40 years, has been off work due to a knee replacement surgery in December. Our sincere thanks to Fr. Mike Paraniuk and the congregation at St. Mary Catholic Church for including Pam on their Prayer List.

Pam plans to return to HDH no later than April 1. No fooling.

Meanwhile, the rumors of my ultimate demise in the newspaper business have been greatly exaggerated.

While I will admit that 2024 has been a trying year, from health concerns to a few bizarre identity and/or attempted thefts of residency by something called "Chimus," and a pending $30 million vexatious lawsuit in federal court, I have no plans now or anytime soon to hang up the old keyboard.

Have I cut back, somewhat, from my old commitments? Yes. Time with my 4-year-old grandson is much more fun than covering the Three Wise Men on any given Wednesday morning.

Ain't it quite funny, word gets around, I heard I was no longer in town.

But I can still be found most days on South High. I'm still in the phone book, too, for readers old enough to know what that is.

Many thanks for reading for all these years. Guess you're stuck with me. (Apologies.)

Rory Ryan is publisher and owner of The Highland County Press.