Ps and Qs and bullets

By Christine Tailer
HCP columnist

Idioms have always fascinated me. They are phrases that are commonly used but mean something very different from their literal definitions. It's their popular use that imparts their understanding. I often wonder when they were first used, and why. 

When I was a child, my mother would remind me to mind my "Ps and Qs." A stern look would furrow her brow, and I knew that she was letting me know I'd better be well behaved, but what did my behavior have to do with Ps and Qs?

It turns out that Ps and Qs refer to pints and quarts, and those among us who preserve summer's garden produce, understand that accurate measurements are ever so important. Thus, when properly canning, as in proper behavior, we mind our Ps and Qs.

An expression that my father often said referred to biting the bullet. Both my little brother and I had to do daily household chores as far back as I can remember. In our younger years, we cleaned up our toys at the end of the day, but as we grew older, we emptied the trash baskets, took the filled garbage cans out to the street, swept, mopped and cleaned the bathrooms. This last chore was one we both abhorred. I would grow silent, scowl and procrastinate. The parental rule was that I could not go outside and play until the bathroom had passed inspection.

"It's a beautiful day, Christine. I know you want to get outside and ride your bike, or skateboard up and down the block, or play stoop ball with your friends, but you know you can't do anything until that bathroom is sparkling. Come on now. Get to it. Bite the bullet!"

In time, especially once I looked out the front window and saw my friends gathered on the sidewalk, I would do the dreaded chore, but why did my father say, "bite the bullet?"

Some of you may know the phrase's back story, but perhaps not all of it. The saying may well be older, but it was first recorded in the writings of abolitionist and Underground Railroad conductor Harriet Tubman. She was born into slavery 1822, the same year Ulysses S. Grant was born, and, like Grant, she played a role in the Civil War. 

After her own escape from slavery, she returned south to lead many of her enslaved relations north to freedom, and once the war broke out, she volunteered to lead Union forces across the southern terrain, serving as a scout. She also lent her hand as a nurse, assisting in surgeries on soldiers wounded on the battlefield. She described how the surgeons, lacking pain medication, would instruct the wounded men to bite down on a bullet while the surgery was performed. The bullet lead was soft and would not damage the soldiers' teeth. Even after the war came to an end, Harriet continued her nursing of those soldiers still recovering from the effects of their often horrendous wounds, and on into her later life, she continued to help formerly enslaved people find their way in the post war nation.

As for me? I am thankful that I did not need to bite a literal bullet before I was allowed outside and play. All I had to do was clean the bathroom. Honestly, it would have never occurred to me to refuse to do so, or to talk back to either of my parents. My mother only had to gaze at me with her stern motherly look and remind me to mind my "Ps and Qs", and my father only needed to tell me to "bite the bullet" and get out those cleaning supplies so I could join my friends and play.

And so, we learn.

Christine Tailer is an attorney and former city dweller who moved several years ago, with her husband, Greg, to an off-grid farm in Ohio south-central Ohio. Visit them on the web at straightcreekvalleyfarm.com.